Raw, Real, and Unfiltered: What Running Therapy Groups Taught Me

We sat in a circle sharing, listening, and exchanging. Some were crying- the benefits of group therapy supported the weight of our collective fears and shame.

This room felt safe, and it was my job to keep it safe. In fact, it can never feel too safe, but that is beyond mere human control.

We were healing, growing, pushing ourselves out from our proverbial comfort zones. When we hold nothing back, what spaces can we allow ourselves to move into?

What are the Benefits of Group Therapy?

Irvin Yalom, the legendary psychotherapist, may have captured it best when he said, Members of a cohesive group feel warmth and comfort in the group and a sense of belongingness; they value the group and feel in turn that they are valued, accepted, and supported by other members.

Normalization of Self

At the root of my work, I sit with people unveiling layers upon layers of pain and anguish. We explore these raw feelings and, at times, we hold them under microscopes, analyzing and dissecting their anatomy.

But, I’m just one person. Just one therapist with one perspective and one set of cumulative life experiences. My individual work matters immensely, but the benefits of group therapy offer something I cannot: repeated, consistent affirmations that we are not the only one.

I work with acute substance addiction. It’s one of the most shame-based populations in mental health, and it’s a group comprised of misunderstood and misplaced individuals who often feel like nobody can relate to their gut-wrenching struggles.

On a personal level, I can’t relate either. I am not an addict. I am just a therapist who understands fear, isolation, shame, guilt, and the myriad of emotions that come from being a human in this world.

The benefits of group therapy? Everyone in the room can relate and resonate with the stories. Everyone knows the cycles, the lies, the undertakings that come from a life built on deceit and destruction.

Clients bond over this- just as children can bond over liking the same toys, and they experience a shared connection that unifies and normalizes. It connects people in the intimate ways we all need to feel connected.

Vulnerability

We all know that knotted feeling that comes from holding- and then releasing- a secret kept deep inside the dark crevices of our souls.

Do you know the feeling of sharing that same secret in front of an entire room of people?

It’s a strange sensation, a mixture of terror and numbness, but it’s one that can push people from their predictable states of disclosure into the much-needed, uncharted territory that comes with vulnerability.

When growth happens organically, vulnerability is almost always at the core of it. To let a guard down and to let others in (while simultaneously experiencing the fear of rejection) pushes us through the iron-clad barriers that our defense mechanisms create.

We experience freedom, and even if it doesn’t unveil exactly as planned, this is where unhinged healing can commence.

A victim feels defeated by her vulnerability, but a thriver revels in it.

Connection

When I facilitate groups, I watch intimate friendships develop. Strangers bond over raw truths and shameful stories, and a connection sparks from the freshness of it all.

Exposure is encouraged. Some will display it more openly than others, but everyone can feel the emotional undertakings happening through the room. Connection happens automatically- often without much effort or awkward side-shuffling.

I believe, as humans, we feel drawn to validate and compliment others. We feel drawn to help others feel safe and loved. Groups make that happen. Groups remind us that we are not alone- we can feel connected and assured by the safety net others provide.

We can let our guards down- sometimes- even if it’s only for a minute, and the world won’t completely fall apart.

Bias and Awareness of Self

You won’t agree with everyone in the room. I tell this to my clients often. You won’t like what everyone has to say or do, and there are times where you definitely won’t like how they say or do it.

We learn from the people we dislike. We learn about our own biases and preferences and judgments, and we all carry those weights with us throughout our lives.

Groups teach members about appropriate communication and expression. They teach us that it’s okay to disagree, but it needs to be done in a respectful and cooperative manner.

In that sense, we grow as adults, relearning the ways to respect and respond to other people. We don’t become best friends with everyone in the room, but we accept that differences can coexist.

It’s Not About the Content

One of the most important benefits of group therapy? It’s not about what we learn. Instead, it’s about what we feel.

Any group facilitator can provide handouts or lecture about a specific topic. Any group can pay attention, read words on a whiteboard, respond with minimal effort.

The content rarely matters. In fact, my favorite groups often evolve from the ones without pre-planned activities or agendas. These groups simply unravel in the natural ways the people in the room need that day.

In therapy, the process supersedes the content. The reactions, experiences, and sensations we experience matter more than the actual discussion being had.

I stand firmly with the belief: most things in therapy can be taught in a simple self-help book or Google search. With that said, no book or website can evoke the nonverbal sensory cues that derive from being in a human-to-human experience.

In fact, I’ll even argue this: What we learn in a group doesn’t nearly matter as much as how we learn and integrate it.