Let’s Acknowledge That Posting About Suicide Doesn’t Fix Suicide

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day, but you probably already know that if you’ve spent more than three seconds scrolling through your social media platform of choice. There, you will be littered with generic platitudes about why life is worth living, carefully arranged “tips for self-care” on pastel backdrops, and phone numbers for support.

I am a therapist and author. I run a well-known mental health platform on Instagram with more than 100k followers. I am entrenched in the throes of psychology- day in and day out.

And yes, I have lost loved ones and clients to suicide. I am not unique. On average, 130 suicides occur each day. These losses are friends and coworkers and children and neighbors. Each loss is tremendously painful- anyone who has experienced this grief knows this anguish.

Recently, a few followers have asked me why I haven’t said or posted anything about suicide. I have been thinking about my responses for the past few days, reflecting on my actions, considering how my voice and platform impact others. Here is what I wish to say.

Stop Making Suicide Awareness Performative

Social media has become increasingly performative in recent years. A recent event happens, and every influencer rushes to post their stance on it. We all care about social issues, share our solidarity, and promise to do better- for about 24 hours. And then we move on to the next trend.

Many factors might explain our embarrassingly appalling attention spans. First, we are flooded with exacerbated media at all hours of the day. That said, our thresholds to tolerate, absorb, and, subsequently, digest this news do not come close to the bandwidth at which we receive it.

But social media can be far more sinister than our inability to process information. Generally speaking, we are saddled with the desire for likability in all contexts. But on social media, we can be whoever we want to be and give whatever image we want the world to believe.

And so, if suicide is the trend of the week, people gobble it up like they haven’t eaten all week. Must make a post. Must share information. Must do this, do that, get engagement, get the likes, get more comments, solicit more attention.

I am not entirely immune to this phenomenon- I enjoy posting content that I believe my followers will enjoy. But I also recognize that this behavior can be insidious, particularly when we don’t consider the consequences that may arise.

I want to note that I don’t believe people don’t genuinely care about suicide. On the contrary, I think I can safely say that almost everyone on this planet cares passionately about suicide. But are we shortsighted in believing that hyping up awareness for one week is enough?

Trends have their place- groupthink can be powerful and influential, and I believe social media can extrapolate important ideas. But when does something become too much? And when does it start causing more harm than good?

Suicide Talk Can Be Triggering

And nobody wants to acknowledge it. Because acknowledging it makes us feel helpless, makes us feel like we’re bad people for sharing our thoughts about a serious issue. And it makes us feel like, no matter what we do, things are doomed.

Anyone who has experienced suicidal thoughts(or has supported or worked closely with people who have) knows that ideation rarely comes out of nowhere. Instead, it is often a recurrent intrusive feeling- a persistent wave of depression, anger, loneliness, and shame.

It’s not that people struggling with suicide don’t know about the resources for help. They often do. They often know them intimately. But changing suicidal thoughts is far more complex than having a coping skill or positive conversation, or enlightened moment.

Many clients tell me that all the heightened attention during National Suicide Prevention Week drives home more shame and guilt. After all, most people don’t want to die of suicide. But when life becomes so unbearable and impossible, they don’t see a better option.

Awareness Isn’t Bad, But It’s Only One Ingredient

If we’re baking a cake and awareness is the eggs, you still need the flour and sugar and butter and frosting. Because without those ingredients, you only have eggs.

And so, awareness about suicide, warning signs, and resources is essential. Nobody will deny that. But you know what else we need to do?

We need to be way more real when it comes to talking about mental health. We need to embrace other people for being vulnerable and open. We need authentic dialogues and safe environments and healing relationships that create paths towards healing.

We can’t say we care about suicide if we don’t strive to be the best friends, partners, parents, and bosses. We can’t say we care about people if we don’t actually care about people. Because even if we aren’t responsible for someone’s life, we may play a more integral role than we will ever realize.

And with that, we need to support causes, campaigns, and legislation that cares about people. Universal healthcare. Increased access to mental health treatment. Safe and affordable housing. Community support. Rehabilitation programs. Resources for children and teenagers.

Because suicide is not just an individualistic problem- it manifests from political, environmental, and societal dynamics. It is a top-down problem, and when we look at it from that perspective, we recognize that we need to do better in this system we all live in.

If You Are Struggling, Get Curious

I will not link the number to the National Suicide Prevention Hotline or tell you why your life matters or why you deserve to be on this planet.

You probably don’t know me, and I probably don’t know you, and that gesture seems disingenuous and cold.

But I will leave you with this:

For now, you have today. And maybe today feels unlivable. So today may not be the day we want to focus most on.

But if you collect tomorrows, and you lean onto any shred of curiosity that things could evolve, you might find yourself interested. Interested in what a new friendship could feel like, what an entree at a restaurant you’ve never tried before tastes like, what new emotions and experiences and laughter might occur. A carpet of possibilities can unfold right before you. There are no guarantees- me doing so would be dismissive and unhelpful.

But when there is curiosity, there are options. And when we have options, we can have slivers of hope. So, wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, I hope you can choose to embrace curiosity today.